Wedding Ceremony: religious or nonreligious

Planning your wedding ceremony provides a great opportunity to reflect on one’s faith and beliefs.  Surprisingly, many couples seek to be married by a minister but don’t attend worship or have ties to a congregation of faith.

When a couple comes to me and we begin talking about what kind of service they want, religious or non-religious, our conversation centers around these questions.

(1)    Was faith important in your younger years?  What memories do you have of attending worship or church related groups?  What feelings do you have about those experiences?

(2)     Are you active in any part of church life now?  Why or why not?   Do you consider yourself a Christian?   Do you ever wonder about your purpose in life?

(3)    If a couple really isn’t all that interested in living a Christian life, do you think they should have a Christian marriage ceremony?  Is a Civil (nonreligious ceremony) more appropriate for them?   Why or why not? 

(4)    If I have a conversation with your best friend, what will they say are the five most important things to you?  Would they choose a religious or nonreligious ceremony for you?

 It is important that you talk with your fiancé at this stage about your spiritual beliefs that you may or may not have.  This issue determines what kind of ceremony will be most meaningful to both of you.  If one of you wants God to be a part of the ceremony and one of you doesn’t, there is a problem.  Hopefully, you can come to an agreement that is acceptable to you both.   This issue needs to be worked thru before you can tell your wedding officiant what kind of ceremony you desire.