Compatibility Is Important

Compatibility is a big factor in the success or longevity of a relationship.  Before you get married, consider the importance of the following issues.

(1)    What is her/his use of alcohol, drugs or porn?  A problem now is a big problem later. 

(2)    What are his/her bad habits?  Are there activities that seem extreme or obsessive?  Are these things you can live with?  Do they chat, game online  or watch TV a lot?    Don’t expect they will change AFTER you get married,  after you have children.   I kid you not.

(3)    What are your conflicts now?  People generally don’t turn over a new leaf when they get married.  What you see is what you get.  If he runs around with other women now, he will later too.   If she can’t hold down a job now, she won’t later.  However, there is always hope!  Some people change when a major life crisis occurs, but getting married usually isn’t one of them.  It’s easier to slide back into old habits rather than develop new ones.  If you are optimistic, it is a good thing.  However, take off your rosy colored glasses before you get married. 

(4)    Do you like his/her family?  Why or why not?  These are the people you will likely be spending holidays with or maybe spending them alone.  I kid you not.     

(5)     What kind of communication skills does the other have?  Is it difficult to get him/her to talk about sensitive issues? Do you hear a lot of “I don’t want to talk about it?”   Does she/he anger easily,  get violent when upset?  Communication will make or break any kind of relationship. It’s a big factor between a healthy and unhealthy relationship, feeling alone or feeling supported.  I kid you not. 

 If you accept these things about your fiance’ and you are absolutely positive that you STILL want to get married,  contact the